She didn’t know that he was going to take a turn for the worse. All people were suppose to get better, weren’t they? He was her friend, the one who looked out for her when she needed it most. Now here he was, in a hospital bed waiting for God to either give him more life or call him back to him. She hoped he would grant him more time on this earth. He was as young as her, just getting out of college and starting to make it somewhere in the world.
He was going to be a doctor, helping those who couldn’t help themselves. He should be saving lives, yet here he was, losing his. Is this really what his plan was for Liam? Why after all God had done in our lives had he decided to give Liam this disease? It infested his body like a weed taking over a flower bed. We had looked out for each other years, doing a bunch of things like bible studies together. He was as healthy as an ox, he had never had a serious life threatening illness, until now. Everything was starting to look better, the medicine was working!
Then the doctors came in and said, “You have a rare form of brain cancer.”
That was it, there was no warning signs, he was doing just fine! It started in the central nervous system they said and that they were going to try chemotherapy, to see if he will react to it. However the side effects outnumbered the good, if the good didn’t get better. His parents were with us in the hospital room, never leaving his side. He looked so weak in that hospital room, laying there, unresponsive.
The day he was diagnosed with cancer was a day I will remember forever. Not because of what would later happen by his condition. No, I remember that day so well, because that was the day Liam Quinn Collins proposed to me.
After the doctors came and delivered the news he dismissed all of his family members and friends except me. He then told me to come to him and spoke with a kind of sadness in his voice, “I may not live a long life, but the rest of my life I want to be happy. I was waiting for the right moment, but I guess this is as good as any. I know I’m not down on one knee but will you Tracy Rahnay Stern, become Mrs. Collins?”
I was absolutely speechless. Of course I had imagined him proposing before, but I figured the circumstances would be different. All I did was give a nod, with tears in my eyes, my heart light but heavy. I got down by his bed and he swept me into a teddy bear hug.
“It’s in God’s hands, Tracy, nothing you do or worry about will change that fact.” He whispered into my ear, and in that moment, I realized something. No matter how long he would be in this hospital, no matter how long it would take, she would be with him. Even if it meant taking time off her job as a lawyer to make sure he was comfortable. They were fortunate to be wealthy, enough for the expenses of the hospital bills, they were unending.
When we were done talking and being all emotional we called everyone back into the room. That’s the time we shared the good news, we were engaged! I was still in shock that I didn’t have a clue what went on in the next couple of minutes, everything a blur. My eyes were swelled up with tears forming, were they happy? Were they sad? All I knew was that I had a fiance, and he was here in the hospital, for no explanation at all as to how he ended up with brain cancer.
Liam, Liam, his name replayed in my mind over and over again, never wanting or knowing if I would be able to let go of him. Cancer can’t win! That’s not suppose to happen! What does that say about our lives, that in a short period of time they can just be swept away from us? Why is fate so cruel to those who start having a good life? A wise person once told me that you cannot be given a challenge unless you know you can handle it. If that is the case, I feel like I may crash and burn, not spread my wings and fly.
After that things started getting worse. Liam was not responding to the therapy like the doctors assumed he would. I didn’t know what to think, so many things were running through my head it felt like it was on fire. Everyday I stayed by his side. The firm I work for told me to take all the time I need to be their for my love. Liam didn’t know if he could keep fighting, he said that he was fighting a losing battle. A couple days later, he called his local pastor to come and perform a small wedding ceremony, marrying me to him. That day was the happiest, and saddest day in my life. The day I lost and won a battle. My name is Tracy Rahnay Collins and I am a widow. The feeling inside you of deep lost is overcoming, I hope none of you have to feel it. When things don’t happen the way you want, your life may feel like it’s shattering right before your very eyes. I have seen this tear people apart, being restrained by chains that bond you, but you just have to let go. Don’t let it destroy and consume you, it turns your heart bitter and your soul becomes empty. Sure I feel the loss everyday, when I look at my ring, when I look at the face of everything my life could have been. But I am stronger, by the challenges.
He was going to be a doctor, helping those who couldn’t help themselves. He should be saving lives, yet here he was, losing his. Is this really what his plan was for Liam? Why after all God had done in our lives had he decided to give Liam this disease? It infested his body like a weed taking over a flower bed. We had looked out for each other years, doing a bunch of things like bible studies together. He was as healthy as an ox, he had never had a serious life threatening illness, until now. Everything was starting to look better, the medicine was working!
Then the doctors came in and said, “You have a rare form of brain cancer.”
That was it, there was no warning signs, he was doing just fine! It started in the central nervous system they said and that they were going to try chemotherapy, to see if he will react to it. However the side effects outnumbered the good, if the good didn’t get better. His parents were with us in the hospital room, never leaving his side. He looked so weak in that hospital room, laying there, unresponsive.
The day he was diagnosed with cancer was a day I will remember forever. Not because of what would later happen by his condition. No, I remember that day so well, because that was the day Liam Quinn Collins proposed to me.
After the doctors came and delivered the news he dismissed all of his family members and friends except me. He then told me to come to him and spoke with a kind of sadness in his voice, “I may not live a long life, but the rest of my life I want to be happy. I was waiting for the right moment, but I guess this is as good as any. I know I’m not down on one knee but will you Tracy Rahnay Stern, become Mrs. Collins?”
I was absolutely speechless. Of course I had imagined him proposing before, but I figured the circumstances would be different. All I did was give a nod, with tears in my eyes, my heart light but heavy. I got down by his bed and he swept me into a teddy bear hug.
“It’s in God’s hands, Tracy, nothing you do or worry about will change that fact.” He whispered into my ear, and in that moment, I realized something. No matter how long he would be in this hospital, no matter how long it would take, she would be with him. Even if it meant taking time off her job as a lawyer to make sure he was comfortable. They were fortunate to be wealthy, enough for the expenses of the hospital bills, they were unending.
When we were done talking and being all emotional we called everyone back into the room. That’s the time we shared the good news, we were engaged! I was still in shock that I didn’t have a clue what went on in the next couple of minutes, everything a blur. My eyes were swelled up with tears forming, were they happy? Were they sad? All I knew was that I had a fiance, and he was here in the hospital, for no explanation at all as to how he ended up with brain cancer.
Liam, Liam, his name replayed in my mind over and over again, never wanting or knowing if I would be able to let go of him. Cancer can’t win! That’s not suppose to happen! What does that say about our lives, that in a short period of time they can just be swept away from us? Why is fate so cruel to those who start having a good life? A wise person once told me that you cannot be given a challenge unless you know you can handle it. If that is the case, I feel like I may crash and burn, not spread my wings and fly.
After that things started getting worse. Liam was not responding to the therapy like the doctors assumed he would. I didn’t know what to think, so many things were running through my head it felt like it was on fire. Everyday I stayed by his side. The firm I work for told me to take all the time I need to be their for my love. Liam didn’t know if he could keep fighting, he said that he was fighting a losing battle. A couple days later, he called his local pastor to come and perform a small wedding ceremony, marrying me to him. That day was the happiest, and saddest day in my life. The day I lost and won a battle. My name is Tracy Rahnay Collins and I am a widow. The feeling inside you of deep lost is overcoming, I hope none of you have to feel it. When things don’t happen the way you want, your life may feel like it’s shattering right before your very eyes. I have seen this tear people apart, being restrained by chains that bond you, but you just have to let go. Don’t let it destroy and consume you, it turns your heart bitter and your soul becomes empty. Sure I feel the loss everyday, when I look at my ring, when I look at the face of everything my life could have been. But I am stronger, by the challenges.
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