Who Is Your Enemy? (Swim/Sports)

As schools are starting back up, thus begins fall sports. Just some things to think about as everyone is getting into competitions. It took me years to realize this as well. And now that I know it, it has made my season that much less stressful. Also, this is written in direct relation to swim but you can kind of direct these feelings and thoughts toward any sport.

She is not your enemy.

She may be competing with you,

But she is not your biggest threat. 

Your biggest threat is the girl you see in the mirror. 

Your biggest problem is how you are going to beat your own time. 

Sure, you want to be the fastest in your heat. 

Sure, you want that winning trophy and top spot on the platform.

But is it really worth it, when you don't challenge how good you were before?

Before the hours you spent training up until that meet.

Before the sweat you put in at every set, of every practice, of every day.

Before you wipe the tired tears as you wake for early morning practice.

The enemy is you, all the doubt you have that you can't succeed.

All of the voices in your head telling you that winning is everything.

Because at the end of the day, will you really remember the name of the girl who beat you?

Or will you remember the tears of joy you felt when you beat your time, 

the well deserved tears to show that you beat yourself.

That girl swimming next to you, 

She wants to win as badly as you. 

Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, you and her are similar.

That you both think you want to beat each other because it will make you happy?

But would be more happy for beating a girl, you probably don't even know the name of.

Or for taking down the one, who is the hardest to?

Because no matter how fast you get, there will always be a time to beat.

And one day you may find yourself up against a race where there is no challenge.

And when that time comes, you won't feel good about coming in first.

You will feel good when you look up at your time and see that it is a personal best.

Because your time should never be satisfying for too long. 

You shouldn't get comfortable swimming the same time meet after meet.

Because that is what training is for. 

You train so you can get better.

Not so you can be satisfied that your best for the moment is your best for good.

Keep trying to push yourself to beat yourself.

Because the girl swimming next to you is not your enemy. 

You are your own worst enemy.

 

Four Months Ago

It's been four months since I last posted. Have I changed since then, yes. Is anyone still looking at these posts?..probably not. Doesn't matter, because I feel better when I think I'm typing to myself. Why? Because when I type to myself I'm honest, I stay true and don't put on a face like I do in real life. I try to be strong in front of people, the truth is I'm not, I'm a broken music box. When I was little I had a music box that I would listen to all the time. It was a beautiful wooden box, not expensive but priceless to me. I got rid of that music box, and to this day I regret it. It wasn't broken at first but I took it for granted and it got thrown around and the the wood got splintered. After that it stopped working, but it didn't get any less beautiful. Yet, I still threw it out like it was trash. I disposed of something that was beautiful and meaningful for what? To this day I regret throwing out that box. It didn't deserve to be treated like it was nothing. I've always wondered what in my life could I do differently? In reality, there is something I could do differently. I could not judge a person before I know their story. I could stop blaming the girl who made my middle school years my worst nightmare. Because at the end of the day what good does that do me. Yes, that bully made me almost do something I wouldn't be here to regret, but if I point fingers how does that make any better than that girl? Those years took something away from me, and until this point I didn't know what. But now I realize she took away my ability to trust. Although, I let people get close to me, there is still part of me I never share. A closed off portion of my life. For those who don't know me that well, I tend to keep my emotions hidden. I keep myself in my own little bubble, it's a sort of boundary of protection for me. That is ultimately the reason I don't share how I feel or like to get involved in hugs or physical contact. Another outcome is how I try not to get to involved with people because I'm afraid they are going to stab me in the back. I got better just to get worse again. So this blog is my bubble, because the people that may or may not read this are on the other side of the computer screen. And that is why I let myself be so vulnerable. So to all the people on the other side of the screen, thank you. This blog has allowed me to be me and not put on the mask in the crowd. It has allowed me to release the emotions that stay strictly in my head. This blog is the real me.

Like always follow me and subscribe to my posts to get notifications when my next post is...whether it's two days or four months. Add me on Snapchat to get all the new things happening in my life, my username is swim_nuggets . Also, you could tell just one friend you read this post. If you really like this website please let me know, to know I'm not just typing to myself is encouraging sometimes too! Also if you are brave comment down below where you're from, I think it's awesome to see that people are reading this not just from my hometown!