Friends? I think not

I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. Why do I let people become my friends and sacrifice tooth and nail for them when they don't do the same. They are never there when I truly need them and then one day poof they are gone without a trace. Without a simple goodbye or "Hey this is why I all of a sudden hate your guts." Well they won, the fake people finally crushed the little hope I had in this thing called friendship. You were close to the end when I was in 8th grade... Anyone still remember those times? Yea, I do cause they were the worst times in my life. That was the point when suicide was more than just a light-hearted joke between friends. Well, all I have to say to all those people, is good luck. Good luck in accomplishing anything and being happy, because that comes through hard work and people who have your back. And sure, in high school everyone has everyone's back. But after that, reality strikes and you will soon realize that you can't just rely on someone so much and expect them to stick around when you don't do the same. Also, I feel sorry for you. That you are so adolescent that you can put on your big girl pants and talk about it. Well, I got news for you... When you are ready to talk, I won't be here. I will be moving on with my life with the one or two friends I still have. But, at least now I am smarter than I was in 8th grade. At least now, it won't make me rethink whether those thoughts were right and I should just end it all. Because that was what you wanted, to win. Although, I don't think you realized winning almost came at the price of a life. Sure, you may not care about that life, but their death would be on your guilty son of a gun's conscious. But that was the eighth grade me...I won't let it worry me. And no I'm not sorry for this letter, because to me, a hate letter is better than being in that dark place close to death again. But I won't let it consume my thoughts, because it is no longer worth my time. You are no longer worth my time. Maybe you never were and I was just to stupid to realize, but either way what is done is done. Goodbye and good luck on life... it may be a bit lonely when you realize that friends only stay as long as it is mutual.