It's crazy waiting for these feelings to pass
Thinking that today would be better than the last
When the lows are all I have
And the good has only turned to bad.
And as I look inside my mind
Will these pills help me control my time
Will I finally feel the depression slip away
Or is the trauma only here to stay.
Regardless of how bad I've strayed
The voices inside my head live out my own day
And when I feel as if there is no other way
As if this bed is where I too shall lay
I rely on the hope of letting go of the pain
Simply praying that I will be okay.
Shall I sit in my shower at 2 AM
Or simply cry in my bed
Will everything soon come to an end?
Or will I be dealing with this for 5 to 10.
Sadness had made a home inside my head
Where in middle school I had hoped for dead
And no matter the feelings of me finally making amends
There is no other way to describe the tragedy around the bend.
If there was another turn
Will there be the hope that I yearn
Or will it be just another year: another picture to burn
A reminder of all that I still have to learn
Simply hoping that my family's approval I will finally earn.
No matter the consequence or the cost.
I will always remember that of which I have lost.
All that has been taken from me.
When it is only the doubt that I see.
Wishing I could get back of what was my dignity.
Missing the amount of trust that was consumed
And feeling as if the darkness is stuck in my room
Knowing that bottling things up only makes a big boom
When you tell them you're okay and they can only assume.
And as I lay in only the depths of the shadows
Wishing for the blooms of the apples
Hoping that spring will soon be near
As the winter brings the cold and the ice here
Even though it is simply an analogy of life
As the only blade as sharp as a knife
Is the fear of falling behind.
And being forced to face the memories
The flashbacks of trying to appease
Trying to hang on to the good as it flees
And as the happiness ceases to be
I get a glimpse of the old me.
No comments:
Post a Comment