Satisfied in this Moment

I'm satisfied with where I am

Confused about how I got here

But not about where I've been

Not thinking about my past often

Not being reminded of what was then

The cruelty and thoughts that haunt

Simply only coming around once in a lot

Feeling like things may be different

If none of that had ever happened

If the trauma wasn't in more than my reaction

Exposure to people who should cease to exist

The memory corrupting some of my wish lists

Everything that was changing as I came along

But reassurance has helped me stay strong

Finally coming to terms with the situation

And being able to exist without contemplation

Parents and Family have come so far

I am so proud of who we all are

What we used to be was so different

But I'm satisfied with where I am

Confused about how I got here

But not about where I've been

So much that could have turned out bad

I guess it is true when they say he really does have a plan

And although the trials have been so long

The results are worth their weight in blood

Oxygen coursing through my veins

A reminder that breath and life can be one and the same

There is no way to even comprehend

When I survived with what little hope I had to defend

There is no other way to explain

Being able to find the faith to obtain

God is as good and as real as rain

Even when others curse out his name

He has given me a new way

And for that, I will never be able to repay

For the hatred, I first felt, and all the disdain

I will regret till my last day

Knowing he will forgive is what I clutch and what I grasp

The unknowing love this world so many times will just pass

But his love even still will last

I'm satisfied with where I am

Confused about how I got here

But not about where I've been