Low Battery

 My phone is at low battery right now which is ironic

Ironic that my heart is also at low battery right now

I have been drained beyond capacity

I’ve been burning the midnight for too long

Spending days getting burnt out

Spending too much time wondering what would’ve been

Knowing that sometimes Harley is the only thing that keeps me going

Which is good that I have someone special 

Even if that someone has four legs and a tail

And sometimes she just tolerates me

Get a dog who doesn’t show you the affection she shows others is great

Knowing I could never truly let go

Of the past

Of the things that I thought were gonna last

Knowing that I can’t bring it up

I can’t disrespect the boundary that I’ve set

Wishing things would’ve turned out different

But isn’t that what we all want? 

Something different than what we have

Be good or bad

I can’t keep playing the guessing game

I gave a piece of my heart away

And I have to come to terms with the fact that I won’t get it back

That’s a hard pill to swallow

Especially when we’re not even taking the pills that make us numb

I want to feel something and now I’m feeling too much

And if I could take it back, I would

Not take the love

Take back opening up Pandora’s box again

Because I’m watching my good emotions fade

I’m watching the laundry and dishes pile up

Because I have no motivation

I’m watching work become a railroad

And I’m the conductor trying to operate a train that I was never taught how to

And I feel alone and unsupported

And I feel like I lost something

But It was never mind in the first place

Because I walked away before it even began

So this is all my fault

And I live with that every day