I Forgive You

I forgive you. You know who you are. The one who put me through pain, agony, misery. I’m tired of having hatred in my heart towards you. I’m letting go of all the crap you put inside my head about me. I’m not who you say I am, words define me, but not yours anymore. Thank you, you made me realize that not everyone in the world is happy with who I or anybody else is. Thank you, although the challenges I went through because of everything happening were tough, thank you. The struggles have only made me a stronger person. You may be bitter because I’ve grown so much bolder, but it is all thanks to you. Hopefully, someday you realize that your actions and words have a lasting Impact. That maybe one day you’ll find out how distasteful you have been to some people who have only tried to be nice. Sure, you may act like you like me now, but I can see the hatred in your eyes. I’m not going to try and be your best friend, but if you ever want to mend the bridge, you are still forgiven. I’ve done all I can, trying to act like it didn’t tear me apart. Just know that I am not forgiving you because I have to, I want to because my soul needs to be free from this dislike. And I don’t want you to feel bad, this isn’t about that. You are forgiven, and although I will never forget, I hope God has mercy on you. Because everyone, even you deserve a second or third chance.

This entry has been on my heart for years. I’ve been inspired to share it because some out there need to hear this. If you let hatred dwell on your heart it will destroy you and that is just what the devil wants. And to all those out there who have wronged someone, apologize, even if they don’t accept your sincere sorry, you’ve done all you can do. But be cautious about your words and actions, because what you do, you can’t take back. It may be the end of something and you will probably be full of regret. Nobody deserves to have their heart broken, nobody deserves to be bullied. So Stop it and speak out about it. Because the only way it will stop is if it starts with you. One person could not say one sentence, and the one sentence unspoken would save misery, pain, agony, all the things no one deserves to go through. 

My Escape

Everyone has an escape, something they can go to that helps relieve tension and stress. As I am only human, pressure gets to me, however the pressure put on me isn’t from a coach, a parent, someone close to me, pressure is put on me from my own self. People have hobbies, jobs, different quirks that help them wind down, or in my case sports. Even the best things in life have drawbacks.

For me lately my escape has just been another locked room. They have started to make me hate what I love. Instead of being excited I don’t want to be there. This is the reason I started this blog a few months ago. For every open door, there is always a window to peek out of.  It is a route that goes far deeper into letting everything out. A breath of fresh air to breath. The sun to wash all the darkness away.

I have had a lot of struggles lately with trying to figure out who I am as a person, a load of change happening, and figuring out who my true friends are. Being a person like me in a society like ours is challenging. I’m not the popular one who everyone likes, far from. It’s hard to know what people really think about you and what they say about you behind your backs. But know that your words have a lasting effect on people, they can build you up or tear you down. Some stuff has happened to me a time ago with a bully, who was relentless, I’m not going to say who for I don’t want them to get hated for what they did to me. I’d be lying if I said that I was okay at the time, it destroyed part of me . I’ll never get that part of me back.

I was tempted to not post this, because I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. Just the opposite I want to help the people who have been in similar situations. Sure there are people out there who are jerks I know that better than most! What I am trying to say is that there are still good people out there, good choices can outway the bad. We all have something in our lives we love, keep doing it! Because if it weren’t for my escapes, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

Update

First off I am apologizing to the two people that read this, for not posting lately. However, I am working on a bunch of short stories and stuff so it is going to take awhile to get those out. Also I am super swamped with exams coming up so there is that too. So don’t be considered if I don’t post for a while but I will plan to type and post a lot this summer! This is just an update and a thanks to everyone who reads this!